How to maintain a relationship with your best friend when you are long distance. How to stay connected with your partner if you have children: life hacks for new parents
We all have a certain circle of friends - such relationships are an integral part of our social life. However, conflict situations may well arise between us, or communication is hampered by a banal lack of time. Finding a good friend is not so easy, but maintaining interaction and strengthening this connection is even more difficult. But, believe me, there is nothing impossible in this either. Strong friendships are built on little things. For example, such as these ten simple tips that will help you strengthen your friendships.
1. Stay in touch
People are busy. They are constantly working or are completely immersed in their family and home affairs. Luckily, the internet has made our communication ridiculously easy. For example, you can send a tweet or Facebook message in a couple of seconds between checking work emails. As a result, such an effort does not take any time at all, but you constantly maintain contact with people you are interested in.
2. Meet friends
Online communication is only part of the interaction. Even an extremely busy person needs to find a time and place for personal meetings - at least once a week. Even though such meetings are rare, strong friendship is based on this. It is live communication that is so lacking in our usual online friendships.
3. Make friendship a priority
Focus on the positivity that friends bring to your life. For example, long-term friendships make people happier, while high-quality communication reduces and provides more useful information. To keep your friends, show them that you care about them and are also one of your priorities.
4. Give gifts
Small signs of attention strengthen friendship and give people the opportunity to communicate more often. So don’t ignore this moment, which binds people more tightly and gives them the opportunity to feel needed and significant.
5. Control conflict situations
Conflicts are inevitable in any relationship, and even the strongest friendship is no exception. and disagreements cannot be ignored or attempted to be hushed up. Discuss problems and find solutions for them. One serious mistake can lead to the loss of an old friend and the acquisition of a new enemy.
6. Introduce your partner to your friends
You should never avoid your friends or hide them from your partner. If you get to know them, you can understand how to balance all these important relationships without compromising their quality.
7. Agree with friends (from time to time)
If your friend is confused about something, try to find a common language with him. Accept his opinion, even if it differs from yours, and conduct constructive dialogues without pressure and a sense of self-righteousness and superiority. Strong friendship is built on mutual understanding and support.
8. Try not to show anger
Anger is one of the most common expressions between friends. Because in some situations we may overreact to something. Learn to curb your emotions so as not to push people away from you.
9. Be careful with criticism
Your friends are wrong. And they may want to acknowledge and correct their mistakes. This desire of theirs does not mean that they also want to be held accountable for their mistakes. Therefore, try to be as tactful as possible when making comments to them, and watch your words. Yes, strong friendships are based on honesty. But this honesty should never be rude!
10. Be respectful of your friend's family.
Family is always the third (invisibly present) party in friendship. Treat your friends' relatives with respect and do not allow yourself to make cutting remarks or critical comments towards them.
As you can imagine, not all friendships can last for many years. So you must be prepared from time to time to review and analyze your friendships with some people and choose: to strengthen it or abandon it. True friendship can become an incredible support and support for you for a long, long time.
At our online reception, we receive quite a lot of letters from tired parents who don’t understand how they can plan their days to spend time not only for the child, but also for each other. This question really concerns many families - the topic of spending quality time with their spouses worries not only those who have just begun to settle into the world of parenthood, but also much more experienced mothers and fathers. The author of the Lifehacker resource, Christine Burke, is raising two teenagers with her husband and admits that things haven’t gotten any easier: if a few years ago children could at least be put to bed and spend a couple of hours alone, now sleep plays a secondary role in their lives, which means , spouses are almost never truly alone together. Burke, however, is not giving up: she has compiled a list of life hacks that help her and her husband stay in touch with each other, despite busy schedules and children. We have supplemented them with our own tips and invite you to familiarize yourself with them.
Keep going on dates
Dating does not necessarily mean going out to an expensive restaurant or theater in the city center. Of course, this is great, but let's face it: very few parents, especially among those who raise children without the help of relatives, can afford it. But they can afford not to neglect their own desires!
Create a dating schedule and set aside at least one day a month for romantic communication. Put the baby to bed, order pizza, drink wine and play cards. If you have a toddler, give him the opportunity to have fun: sit him down with cartoons, have a picnic on the floor, give him a new puzzle). Let it take him at least 40 minutes, but you will know that these 40 minutes are your time. Yes, it's far from an ideal date, but it's still better than nothing.
Think about where you can take the children
This issue is especially acute for parents who live far from relatives who are ready to provide all possible assistance in caring for their children. Of course, for residents of big cities - babysitting services, nannies for an hour, playrooms at children's clubs. But these options are not always available to young parents.
As Burke writes, when her children were younger, she and her husband left them in playrooms at large supermarkets: both the children were supervised and they freed up time for each other. According to the journalist, she and her husband did not always spend this time actually doping - more often they went to a cafe at the store, got coffee and sushi and just talked while the children went crazy under the supervision of the administrator of the playroom.
In addition, she also recommends considering clubs and sections in which classes take place in the evening after parental work or on weekends: while the children are busy, you can calmly talk, walk, holding hands (like the good old days!) And don’t get distracted by endless “why?” and “where are we going?”
And parenthood is also the time to make new acquaintances or improve relationships with old friends with children and come to each other’s aid on days when you want to take the children somewhere and finally be alone.
Take a walk
Burke advises going on evening walks (especially if you have a pet that needs them) together, leaving the children to clear the table after dinner. But we know that among you there are not many parents of children who can be left at home unattended.
And yet we do not refuse this recommendation - walk together. Even though it won’t always work out (and you won’t always have the strength to do it), but going for a walk, even if it’s not actually just the two of you, but at least while the baby is snoring in the stroller, is a useful practice that will benefit not only your relationship. with a friend, but also with a child too - the more and more often you join in caring for him together, the better you get to know him and each other in this care.
Use nap time
If young parents were given ten rubles every time they heard the sacramental “sleep while the child sleeps,” none of them would need maternity payments. But the reality is that parents (especially, of course, mothers) spend their quiet time on anything other than sleep. Well, since you are not sleeping, and the quiet time happened on a weekend when you are both at home, take advantage of the moment and make time for each other. At least just kiss and then drink tea with jam.
You don't have to have sex if you don't have the strength to do it. But you can talk, discuss the latest news, whine and complain, in general, engage in adult communication. And yes, if you don’t want to be touched, then be sure to say so - the phenomenon of tactile fatigue has not been canceled. But everyone in the family should have the opportunity to speak out!
Treat each other
When you go home from work, buy fruit, wine, caviar, what else do you love and what is your child not yet interested in? Small gastronomic joys are one way to take care of each other and express your feelings. This is not difficult and does not require special expenses, especially if you do not do it every day. But a treat is always an effective way to improve each other’s mood.
Write to each other
Exchange messages throughout the day while you're apart. And yes, don’t respond with anything along the lines of “I’m busy” if that’s not really the case. You're only busy if you're saving the world. Then write like this: “Darling, I’m saving the world.” In all other cases, answer to the point and with love.
And yes, dear young mothers, . Write about your feelings, share them, talk about your doubts and fears. They should not be kept silent. And even if these are not romantic messages or sexting, it will be honest - and what else is needed for the relationship to be as close and open as possible?
If you're going through the phase of being exhausted and tired as hell, don't start watching anything new. First, it will require a focus on the story. Secondly, the new series will not provide the opportunity to discuss the plot directly during the play, joke properly and exchange feelings.
So “Friends” or “How I Met Your Mother” will help you - you can watch, communicate, laugh at the same time and not worry that you will miss something super important. But you are guaranteed a feeling of warmth.
If all else fails
Yes, raising children and remaining engaged spouses is a difficult task that not everyone can handle well. But often a voiced intention or a cake eaten for two without regard for the little swallow is enough: just knowing that you still have each other is worth a lot in the darkness and despair of the first weeks/months/years of parenthood.
Sometimes there are days when we cannot meet each other's needs. And that's okay. On days like these, you may feel the need to just shut up and lie your teeth to the wall. Don’t stress - just tag each other on NEN’s social networks under the funniest memes that suit you the most at the moment. This really helps! Only take a look to comments on our Instagram: spouses very often tag each other there, and then respond with laughing emoticons. Ideal when there is no energy for full communication.
The famous American investor and author of books about financial well-being Robert Kiyosaki once said: “Rich people build a network of connections, everyone else is looking for work.” This phrase, in my opinion, fully reflects the beauty of having a large number of friends. In the Soviet Union this was called “blat”, now the fashionable word is “networking”. Both then and now people understand the importance of such skills as the ability to make and maintain useful contacts, but for some reason no one purposefully learns this. Although you can learn. Just like riding a bike or speaking in public. Today I will try to give some useful tips on this important and interesting topic.
1. Learn to meet new people.
One of the main skills that allows us not to lose the many opportunities that life offers us is, of course, the ability to meet people! There are some simple tips on how to make this difficult stage easier. First, rehearse at home in front of the mirror how you will introduce yourself to a new acquaintance. Prepare a short (no more than 30 seconds) self-presentation: what is your name and what do you do. If you're attending a specific event, such as a work conference, be sure to include your reason for attending in your speech. The point of preparing and rehearsing a self-presentation is that you will look stupid at home in front of the mirror, and not in front of a person in a real situation. You can start your acquaintance with several things: with a comment about the environment, with a question (which, by the way, can also be thought up in advance), with an offer or request for help (pass that tartlet). Second, put aside your fear and approach those you want to meet with confidence. To make it easier, try to visualize (imagine in detail) how your successful acquaintance occurs, and it will be much easier and more confident for you to take this first step.
2. Know how to carry on a conversation.
It is very important to interest the interlocutor, especially at the first stage. This determines whether there is potential for your relationship to continue. Be open and friendly. Smile! In this way, you not only set up the other person for contact, but also lift your own mood (try smiling in a bad presence of mind for a couple of minutes - you will see how your mood improves). Nonverbal communication (appearance, gestures, voice, posture, etc.) generally accounts for 85% of the information that another person receives about you. So pay attention not only to WHAT you say, but also to HOW you say it.
What should we talk about at the first stage of the conversation? Ask more. Your task is to find out a topic that would be interesting to the interlocutor. Try to talk about more neutral topics first (you can talk about sex, religion and politics a little later). There is one psychological trick that should be used when the conversation is between people whose relationship has not yet formed. Try to agree with what the other person is saying. Even if you have a different opinion, you can express it, but first listen and agree with him (or that his opinion is worthy of existing). And no “yes, but...”!
3. Monitor your reputation.
Reputation is such an interesting thing that is built up gradually and lost very quickly. So, to prevent her from rolling under the sofa, you need to constantly monitor her. In general terms, reputation is something that is constantly expected of you under certain circumstances. Let's say your friends know that if they come to you with a problem, you will definitely listen and help the person psychologically. Or colleagues always turn to you for insurance-related questions, knowing that you are an expert in this matter. So why don't you pick an area that you're already good at and start working on it? Be a narrow specialist, but the best. This is how word of mouth is born and recommendations appear.
Don't forget that you have a certain image, also on social networks. Especially for people who don't know you that well in the real world. Therefore, before “posting” a photo or any other information, think about whether it matches the image you would like to have on social networks. Now even many banks, when considering an application for a microloan, ask you to log in via Facebook or Vkontakte. With a minimum of other information about you (except your passport and mobile number), your posts on social networks can say a lot about you.
4. Maintain relationships.
5. Expand your social circle.
Don't forget that there is a whole world of people, things and events around you. Therefore, you should not isolate yourself within your usual social circle - school friends or favorite colleagues. Try to start proactively looking for new people and spend more time on those who bring you closer to your goals. Renowned author Charlie Jones, author of Life is Beautiful, said, “The only difference between who you are now and who you will be in a year is the books you read and the people you meet.”
Professionally, you can meet a lot of really interesting people at thematic conferences. Search the Internet, as a rule, in large cities there are a dozen such events held throughout the year on almost any existing topic. Another good way to start growing both personally and professionally is to find yourself a mentor, or mentor. You'll be surprised how many successful people are willing to share their experiences and knowledge. The fact is that a person’s natural need is not only to receive, but also to give. Choose from among your friends a person whom you respect and appreciate. Tell him about it and ask him to spend some of his time with you on a regular basis. For example, this could be lunch once every 3-4 weeks. And start learning from him, absorb his knowledge and experience.
In general, how and with whom you build relationships depends entirely on you (as, in principle, everything else). Follow our advice constantly, and after a while you will see how easy it all works.
Read more tips on networking on the website pronetworking.ru
Incredible facts
Today it is almost impossible to imagine your life without applications designed for messaging.
Whatsapp is one of the most popular applications, which helps you stay in touch with friends and acquaintances.
There are many features in this application that users are not even aware of, but which can significantly improve their text communication skills.
1. Become invisible on Whatsapp.
To remove evidence that you have read messages, go to Settings - Account - Privacy - Read Receipts and uncheck the box. However, if you keep this option disabled, it may become suspicious.
Before opening a questionable chat, you can also turn on airplane mode. Now you can read messages without receiving notifications. Sign out of messages before turning off Airplane mode and the message will remain unread by the person who sent it.
2.Hide visiting hours in WhatsApp.
If you want to avoid an awkward conversation and don't want others to see when you last visited the chat, this can be easily done.
Go to Settings – Account – Privacy - Visiting time, and choose who can see when you were last active.
3. Recover deleted WhatsApp conversations
If you accidentally deleted messages, don't worry because there is a way to restore conversations. However, you need to anticipate the situation.
To do this, you need to set up a backup of your chats. Go to . You can then choose to back up daily, weekly or monthly. Whatsapp will only copy your chats when the phone is on.
If you accidentally deleted a message or chats, you can restore them by reinstalling this app.
4. Quote a WhatsApp message as evidence
Instead of scrolling through hundreds of messages and taking a screenshot to prove that your friend promised to come 2 hours ago, use the quote feature.
To do this, you need to select the desired message by holding it and pressing left arrow(on Android) or the " button Answer" on iPhone to quote the desired message.
5. Make text bold, italic or strikethrough in Whatsapp
WhatsApp is very convenient to use for many things, but like all text messages, it does not convey intonation well. You can use bold, italics, and even strikethrough for these purposes.
If you want to put emphasis on a certain word, you need to use certain keyboard shortcuts.
To make it bold, you need to put an asterisk on both sides of the word, *like this*, for italics use underscore _words_, and for strikethrough there is a wavy hyphen ~like this~. You can also combine *_bold italics_*.
6. Turn off notifications in WhatsApp chats
For example, you want to know what time there will be a meeting tomorrow. But this simple question turned into a three-hour conversation between the rest of the chat participants.
You can now avoid annoying notifications by selecting the chat name at the top and selecting silent mode. Click on the button Do not disturb in the upper right corner and uncheck the option Show notifications.
7. Disable WhatsApp saving photos in your gallery
All files you receive are automatically saved in your phone's gallery. If your friends are sending photos that you don't want others to see, there is a way to avoid it. For iPhone, go to Settings – Chats and disable the option Media Visibility.
Additionally, you can hide photos received on WhatsApp by creating a .nomedia file.
For Android, you must have a file manager installed, which can be downloaded from the Google Play Store. After downloading, go to Images/WhatsApp Images and create a file called .nomedia.
8. Save smartphone memory from unnecessary files in WhatsApp
When someone sends you pictures, gifs, audio and video files, they are downloaded automatically. To prevent them from clogging up your smartphone's internal memory, set it to download only the types of files you need when you connect to Wi-Fi or a mobile network.
For iOS Go to Settings – Data, where you can choose the download method. For Android, go to to find them.
9.Create a shortcut for a specific contact on WhatsApp
If you find it difficult to always look for your best friend in the general mass of WhatsApp chats, you can give preference to certain people (if you have Android). You can reduce your search time by saving shortcuts of your favorite WhatsApp contacts on your phone screen.
Click on the desired chat and in the menu (ellipsis in the upper right corner) and select " Add a shortcut", and a shortcut with the contact will appear on your phone screen.
10. Turn off sounds on WhatsApp and hide the chat from prying eyes
There are times when you don't want anyone to see your WhatsApp messages.
11. Send private messages to many users on WhatsApp
If you want to send one message to a number of people, you don't necessarily need to create a group chat where everyone can communicate with each other. In this case, it is better to choose a newsletter.
Click on the menu button in the top right corner and select New newsletter. This will allow you to send one message to many people, creating an individual chat with each one.
12. Transfer your WhatsApp messages to another phone
If you don't want to lose your messages if, for example, you buy a new phone, you can back up your messages.
Go to Settings – Chats – Chat backup and save a copy of messages daily, weekly or monthly. When you access WhatsApp from a new phone, the messages will be transferred to the new device.
13. Find important messages on WhatsApp easily
Many people know the feeling of having to scroll through several hundred messages to find a message about the desired address or meeting time. But there is an easier way to do this.
Long press the message you want and tap the icon stars.
You can now view all flagged messages in the menu where you will find the option Featured Posts.
14. Find out when your message has been read (checkmarks in WhatsApp)
Long press on the message you sent and tap the " icon info". A window will open where you will see who read and who received the message with the specified time when it happened.
15. Keep your Whatsapp group chat private
If you don't want friends of friends you've never met but are in a group chat with viewing your personal information, you can make the necessary changes.
You can restrict access to your profile photo and personal status by going to Settings – Account – Privacy, and selecting the desired options.
16. Mark unread chat on Whatsapp
Let's say you can't respond to a message right now, but you don't want to risk your friendship with the person. You can set a visual reminder that you have messages to respond to.
This can be done in the chat list, by highlighting the chat and marking it as unread.
Instead of dictating a message, you can use the virtual assistant Siri (for iPhone) to control WhatsApp without having to pick up your phone. To do this, you must have the latest version of WhatsApp installed, where you can say: " Hey Siri. Send WhatsApp to mom".
You can also read messages using Siri by saying: " Hey Siri. Read the latest WhatsApp messages" and you will hear the latest unread messages.
For Android users, use OK Google by asking " send WhatsApp to (name)".
18. Make a video call on WhatsApp
To make a video call, open a contact and click on the video icon.
19. Draw on photos or add emojis to WhatsApp
Take a photo in the app, then use the various tools at the top of the screen to draw on the photo, add emoji, or text.
20. Turn videos into GIFs on Whatsapp
WhatsApp already has a large gallery of GIFs that you can send to friends and acquaintances in messages. If you don't find the GIF you need, you can convert your own videos to GIF format. Click on the photo and video gallery icon, select the video and click the GIF button in the upper right corner.
